


Broken

by YuriSenpai



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: AU, All Aqours will eventually make an appearance, Angst, Depression, F/F, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-26 22:56:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15011234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuriSenpai/pseuds/YuriSenpai
Summary: Only a year into her dream career, Kurosawa Dia took a fall. Not only was it the most humiliating moment of her existence, it also ended her short lived life of an idol.Now in a continuous downwards spiral, Dia feels like she’s losing herself. Every day is a pain filled struggle as she watches Ruby become everything she wanted to be.// AU where Aqours hasn’t formed \\





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is just the prologue so it isn’t really in much detail, but it should hopefully set the scene. Thanks for reading.

Kurosawa Dia's career as an idol was very short. Not by choice; she had always dreamed of being an idol since she was a small girl and once she had started her journey into the industry she had intended to complete it, but fate didn’t share the same idea as her.

A year after her first performance as part of a two piece group, including herself and her younger sister, Ruby, Dia took a fall from the stage during a live show. The slightly slippery stage mixed with an awkwardly landed jump didn’t mix well, and she had skidded straight off the front of the stage, landing in front of the barrier that separated the audience from her.

 

Thankfully, she had made the wise decision to wear shorts under her skirt, which had fortunately meant she had spared herself any embarrassment of flashing her panties, but that was the only thing she was spared.

Dia had landed heavily on her right ankle and fell to the side. From the second she hit the floor, she knew it was broken. If the intense pain wasn’t enough then the loud cracking sound that could be heard was definitely enough of an indicator. Normally, Dia was get up after a fall, but she couldn’t move. She was paralysed with pain and the only thing she could do was scream and cry. 

Dia didn’t remember much from that experience. But she didn’t need to. The wonders of technology presented her with an opportunity to watch the whole performance in high definition.

She had only ever watched it through once, and didn’t have any plans to watch it again in the future.

Her mic had been cut off as soon as the staff realised what had happened - good thing too as Dia's cries were already loud enough without the microphone. Ruby had immediately jumped from the stage and was hugging her and it seemed she had been saying reassuring words. The audience were chanting in reassurance and concern as the staff tried to evacuate the arena. There were plenty of close ups of her sobbing face as she clung to Ruby. Cameras had even managed to catch her vomiting when staff members attempted to move her out of audience view and accidentally caught her ankle on the side of the staging.

Dia had turned the video off after that. It was embarrassing enough.

She had fractured her ankle in three different places. 

Until she had her surgery, the most of what she could remember of those days was a compilation of crying in pain and passing out when the pain got too intense. One minute she was in the ambulance, the next Ruby was sobbing on the end of her bed, then she was in an operating theatre and people were asking her questions about allergies. She didn’t know. 

At first, Dia had been hopeful about returning to the life of an idol with Ruby. After her first surgery, the doctor had told her with hard work and lots of physiotherapy she would be able to turn to light work after about six months when her ankle would be fully healed.

She did as the doctor said, and tried her best to recover. 

However, only two months into her recovery, Dia took another fall. This time down a set of stairs at the train station, which damaged her already healing fractures and sent her back to step one as well as a high ankle ligament tear.

Her doctors weren’t so positive about her possibly returning as an idol in the future after the second fall. They said in a few years.

Dia refused to let herself hold Ruby back.

Of course, her younger sister had cried and protested that she couldn’t do it without her, but Dia was firm. She had already looked into possible groups that Ruby could join and after discovering another duo from their hometown, Dia got in touch with them and asked if they would be interested in a third person to add to their duo. They agreed. Who would have said no to having one of the Kurosawa sisters in their group? They were slowly moving up in the charts and becoming more well know, of course they wanted Ruby.

It had been the hardest thing Dia had ever done.

Ruby had arranged to travel back to Numazu to live with her parents and work with her new group in the autumn. Dia had argued and argued and claimed she would be fine over the summer but Ruby really put her foot down: Dia was so stubborn she wouldn’t even admit she needed help and Ruby stayed for the next two months.

Autumn came around and Dia was enrolled in university as per her parents wishes due to her failed career as an idol. She had no objections. Her drive was gone. She could no longer chase her passion and could only fit in with everyone else


	2. Chapter 1

Dia wasn’t sure how long the alarm clock had been ringing for. It could’ve been five minutes, it could’ve been half an hour or even longer than that. Dia's ears were unhearing as she lay on her bed her eyes blankly staring at the ceiling. 

Ruby had been gone three days. 

It was a hard shift to make: from having your sister waking you up and encouraging you out of bed even when you just wanted to lie there forever going to actually being able to lie in your bed for as long as possible. With no Ruby, Dia hadn’t once managed to leave her apartment. Just leaving her bed was a big enough chore, even when she could no longer sleep and lay awake and motionless for hours, there was nothing that would motivate her to get out of bed.

Dia rolled over onto her side and took in the room around her. It wasn’t a surprise when she saw her stuff everywhere. No Ruby meant no cleaning. 

The room was dark, the curtains drawn tightly but still light managed to force itself through the gaps and illuminate the washing strewn across the floor. Among her dirty shirts and abandoned underwear, Dia could make out empty food wrappers. 

She hadn’t really been eating much, only the ready meals and instant ramen that she and Ruby had bought in case of emergencies. She didn’t feel like cooking in the slightest and sometimes even just pouring the hot water into the ramen cup was too much effort so Dia would just leave it and go back to bed.

With the windows closed, and all the rotting food, Dia figured her room probably smelt a lot. Her nose was used to the foul stench of body odour and the remains of instant ramen, but if anyone were to pay her a visit they would surely feel disgusted.

That still didn’t motivate Dia to get up and instead she rolled onto her back once again. Her mind went blank as she stared at the ceiling and ignored the wails of the alarm clock only an arms length away from her head.

Another sound entered her head and she turned her head towards her nightstand. Next to the screeching alarm clock, she could see her phone vibrating on the wood, shuffling around slightly. 

The song that it was blasting out was a muse song.

Ruby’s favourite.

Slowly, Dia reached over and took the phone in her hand. She passed it from one hand to the other feeling the weight and testing the water. Ruby’s face was lighting the screen up but Dia didn’t know if she had the heart to answer.

In one slow movement, she answered.

Ruby would just keep calling otherwise, like she had the last two days.

“Onee-chan?” Ruby's voice filled Dia's ear. Taking a deep breath, Dia spoke into the phone.

“Hi Ruby,” Dia knew her voice was weak. She hadn’t used it since the last phone call so of course it would be.

“What’s that sound in the background? Is your alarm clock going off?”

Dia went quiet for a minute and then reached over and flicked it off. She had completely forgotten about the noise.

“It just went off as you called...”

“Anyway, how are you feeling? Are you excited for your first day tomorrow?” Ruby pressed. Dia could hear the rush of the sea in the background and the seagulls chattering and couldn’t help but feel a pang of homesickness.

“Uh... I’m feeling great,” Dia lied. She didn’t know if it was convincing, but she tried anyway, “and yeah I can’t wait for tomorrow.” Ruby wasn’t convinced.

“Do you have everything ready? I left your list of books to get on the fridge.” Ruby asking about university was just another reminder for Dia that no, she wasn’t ready and no she hadn’t gotten any of her books yet. Even a task she had no problem doing on a normal day was now physically and mentally taxing.

“Yes I found it and I got all my books.” Dia hated herself for lying but she didn’t want Ruby to worry in the slightest.

“Are you not feeling well, onee-chan?” Ruby questioned. Dia sucked her breath in sharply.

“Just a little nauseous.” 

“Make sure you rest up well then! I don’t want you to be ill of your first day!” 

Dia decided to change the subject.

“How about your-“

Ruby interrupted suddenly.

“Sorry I have to go! I forgot I have rehearsals! I’ll speak to you later!”

With that, the phone hung up and Dia was greeted with a dull hum. She placed her phone back on the nightstand and looked at the time.

11 in the morning. 

She sighed. 

Slowly, Dia swung her two legs over the side of the bed. She winced slightly when she put her right foot down a little hard and her cast came into contact with the floor firmly. Fumbling around, she managed to locate one of her crutches on the floor by the bed and saw the other one propped next to the desk. 

Dia took a deep breath and pulled herself up. She hopped a step, grabbed the other crutch and tucked it safely under her arm.

Hobbling around, Dia tried to make a mental list of things she needed to do. It was hard to focus on the list when with every step she took her limbs got heavier and heavier and she grew tired despite barely being out of bed five minutes. 

Coming out of the bedroom was like being reborn into a new world. For a start, the air certainly was a lot fresher. Dia pushed the door closed behind her and made her way down the hallway. 

The apartment wasn’t huge, but it certainly felt bigger now that Ruby was absent from it. They had chosen it together, with two bedrooms, one with an en suite (Dia's room), a main bathroom and another large room which included a compact kitchen and open plan living and dining area. It had originally been paid for by their earnings from lives, but since Dia's second fall their parents had paid for it as Dia had said she would attend university in Tokyo.

Nothing had changed in the living area since Ruby had left. It was still tidy. 

Like Ruby had said, there was the list of books on the fridge that she needed to obtain. Dia pulled it off an tried to read it but the words just scrambled her brain. Instead, she pushed the paper on the kitchen side and opened the fridge.

There wasn’t much in there. Dia really needed to go shopping but it was hard when she could barely carry anything. With a sigh she reached for a slice of cheese and nibbled the corner. It was tossed in the bin in disgust as Dia realised it was stale. Her stomach still growled and she reached up to look in the cupboards for a ready meal or instant ramen. 

She cringed as her crutch slipped from her side and fell to the floor with a clatter. Using the kitchen side for support, Dia reached down to pick it up. A few tears escaped her eyes and she felt herself becoming red in frustration when her other crutch fell as soon as she had grasped the one from the floor. 

As she grew unstable on her feet, Dia slowly tried to sit herself down, which resulted in her slipping to the side and bashing her head on the fridge door. She hissed in pain. More tears ran down her cheeks.

It was harder than she thought without Ruby. Dia reached for her pocket to get her phone when she remembered two things.

A) her phone wasn’t in her pocket, it was still in her bedroom. She wasn’t even wearing pants with pockets. And B) Ruby was busy. She had just said she had rehearsals.

Dia's stung even more at the revelations and she sobbed to herself on the cold kitchen floor. 

Dia had done a lot of crying. She had even cried her heart out to Ruby, which was especially worrying considering Dia would always usually make sure to specifically not cry in front of Ruby.

Now Ruby wasn’t even there to comfort her - nobody was.

Nobody was there to help her up off the floor, nobody was there to dry her eyes or lead her to bed.

There was nothing. Just Dia. 

This this process only made Dia sob harder. Balling her fists up and tight as she could she pounded on the floor. Her hands bounced off the tiles, not even causing so much as a scratch, while her knuckles stung with pain.

Even if it wasn’t a pleasant feeling, at least she was feeling SOMETHING.

Dia continued to hit the stone tiles until she no longer had any energy to do so; her movement eventually slowed down and she brought her bloody fists to her lap and stared at them. 

Her eyelids drooped and once again she could feel herself slipping into a state of unconsciousness.

When Dia awoke, the kitchen was still light. Drowsily, she glanced slowly around, confused as to why she was on the floor instead of on her bed. It was cold.

Looking down in her lap, Dia made the connection when she noticed her bloodied fists resting there. The blood was now dried and crusty. Dia grimaced and examined them closer. She needed to wash her hands.

Getting up was going to be difficult, but as long as she thought it through and didn’t panic, she would be okay. 

Pain throbbed in her hand as she reached out to grab one of her crutches, she stood it up against the worktop. The second crutch was used to help her stand up. With it in her left hand, she leant to the left and went up on her left knee, then stood up straight using the worktop and crutch for support. 

It worked well.

Dia then shakily took the second crutch and managed to get it into place without any mistakes. 

She breathed a sigh of relief for the first time in days.

She was upright. 

Finally, Dia could wash her hands. Putting one crutch to the side to minimise the risk of it falling, Dia then held her hands under the running water. The water stung her fists but she gritted her teeth and put up with it. The pain was nothing on her fractured ankle anyway.

To her right, she noticed the list of books Ruby had left for her. With a sigh Dia ran her eyes down the list. She didn’t feel like going to get them at all. Maybe she could just order them online.

Dia gritted her teeth when that meant her turning up to her first lecture with no knowledge prepared and no textbook: it seemed like the best option despite the downsides.

Grabbing the paper, Dia slowly made her way back to her bedroom.

“What would Ruby do?” She mumbled absentmindedly to herself, and that’s when it hit her.

“Ruby!”

Dia hurriedly picked up her pace and nearly bashed her bedroom door in. She shakily made her way across the bedroom floor and managed to avoid tripping on the scattered clothes.

She lunged for her phone and tapped the screen relentlessly. The screen lit up and displayed a mixture of messages and calls all from Ruby.

'I’ve finished rehearsals! Do you want to call again?'

'Dia?'

'Is everything okay?'

There was a gap between that message and the next and instead there was an influx of missed calls. Four.  
Then more messages.

'Please answer your phone!'

'Have I upset you?'

'Dia please call me, I’m really worried.'

More missed calls.

'Have you fallen again? Is everything okay? If you don’t want to talk that’s fine but please let me know you’re okay or I’m going to call an ambulance to come for you.'

The message was recent and the screen changed suddenly and began to vibrate in Dia's hands, Ruby’s face was on the screen once more.

Moving to sit on her bed, Dia sighed and pressed accept.

“Onee-chan! Thank god!” Ruby sounded breathless over the phone, “What’s wrong? Why weren’t you answering your calls?”

Dia was quiet for a minute. 

She could either tell Ruby the truth or just keep it quiet. If Ruby learnt the truth, there was no doubt she could return to Tokyo to care for Dia - that was the last thing Dia wanted.

“Y-yes I’m fine, don’t worry. I went out and forgot to take my phone with me, I was just picking up some last minute things for university.” 

The lie came so easily Dia was a little shocked at herself and she immediately felt guilty for tricking her sister, even if it was for the best.

Ruby sighed in relief heavily.

“You really scared me! Please don’t forget your phone again... I can’t help but worry about you...” Ruby's voice cracked towards the end of her sentence but she tried to act as if it was nothing.

“Sorry...” Dia mumbled, whilst moving to sit at her desk. She had a little trouble pulling the chair out, but after kicking some rubbish and a pair of shoes out the way it was much easier. She opened up her laptop and started to boot it up.

“You don’t need to worry Ruby,” Dia tried to reassure her, “ just concentrate on yourself for once...”

“I can’t do that! After everything that’s happened...” Ruby sighed, “Are you sure you’re okay in Tokyo by yourself? I can come back and help you out if you would like?”

There it was. A pitying tone in Ruby's voice.

Dia didn’t want pity from anyone, much less her younger sister who had looked up to her and admired her for years.

“No. Absolutely not.” Dia came off colder than intended which only helped to fuel Ruby’s concern.

“Dia, you’re not acting like yourself. Please just let me-“

“I have to go now Ruby, let’s talk another time. I want to catch an early night and dinner is nearly finished. I’ll speak to you soon.”

Dia didn’t even wait for a reply, and hurriedly hung up.

She was half expecting Ruby to phone back immediately, but she didn’t.

To distract herself, Dia set about ordering herself something to eat. She pressed the first result that came into the bar and selected a random food. She wasn’t hungry all of a sudden, but it was just something to distract herself.

Dia started to get up other tabs with websites containing the books she needed for her course. She paid for the fastest delivery possible. It wasn’t her money so it didn’t matter anyway. They wouldn’t be there in time for her first class, but hopefully they would arrive within two days so Dia wouldn’t be too far behind.

A knock at the door suddenly made Dia jump. 

In her hurry to get to the door, she stubbed her toe on the frame and hissed in pain.  
The door was knocked on again and Dia was beginning to lose her bearings.

“Just a minute! I’m coming!” She shouted, yanking the door open.

All fury she had felt towards the inpatient food deliverer was exiled the second Dia opened the door and made eye contact with a pair of violet eyes. 

Dia froze.

“Pizza for Kurosawa?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey thanks for reading! Any suggestions, feedback and constructive criticism please either DM me or leave a comment below! Thank you!
> 
> If yall ever wanna catch up with me outside of here, my Twitter is @shukasabs and my instagram is @its_time_to_yosoro


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